Zach Wahls

I came across this video today through Kerry and my brain suddenly was wide awake again at 1.30am.
Because I am who I am, I now have to discuss that. More with myself, but you can take part.

Let me make one thing clear first:
I am NOT against anything that has to do with homosexuality. So whatever I may write it's not because I don't like homosexual people.
Did you get it? I DO LIKE THEM.


At the end Zach Wahls says that the sexual orientation of his parents has no influence on the person he is or rather became.
I would say that is wrong, but don't want to waste any time on things like "because parents of course have an influence on their children", because we all know that.

But when we take a gay marriage we can of course see differences to straight ones. And to answer the "Why?": Because we have either 2 women or 2 men. It's simple. If you say it makes no difference if there are 2 of the same sex, you would also say it makes no difference if you're raised by just your Mom or just your Dad.
And that is just not true, because it is different. And I can say that because I was raised by only my father from my 10th year of age. And everybody else who was will say that too.
There is always something missing. By that I don't mean love, because of course who ever raises you loves you. And just because one parent is missing does not mean the other parent loves you less. (Or should love you, but it's not about mentioning special cases now. Of course I would rather see a child raised by a gay couple than by Mom and Dad while Mom is drinking all day & Dad beats it when he comes home.) That's not the point. The point is that one figure is missing. Either of the father or of the mother. And THAT has an influence.
I wouldn't say this influence is generally bad or good, it's just an influence. But in the end, when we think about normal circumstances, it is better to be raised by a man and a woman instead of only one or both the same. Because it is not about the number of parents you have. It's about the sex. With the different sexes we have different ways of living and so we have different influences that make us who we are.

A boy who is raised by 2 men has no parent to talk about girls because gay guys are probably not the best choice for that. Means no motherfigure. If the boy turns gay it's a jackpot of course.
A girl, raised by 2 women has the same problem/advantage, just the other way.

A boy, raised by 2 women has no father figure.
A girl, raised by 2 men no mother figure.

You will probably now say "but when you are only raised by one parent it's the same" - almost. Because this is where the sexual orientation comes into play. A girl/boy raised by only her/his father maybe has no mother figure, but a straight father. Same the other way.
Additionally it is mostly not a condition that started from birth, so there was a time when both were raising the child and if we are "only" talking about a divorce both parents are still there. At least sometimes.
(Exceptions prove the rule.)

To give you two little examples:
I - raised by my father. Not only since my Mom died, also before he had more influence on me due to several reasons.
I wouldn't say I'm a so called tomboy but I tend to have more "male hobbies" than other girls who were raised by both parents. Simply because I haven't had a big female influence. So you can make sure if I had the choice between a girls night and football - I'd choose football. That does not mean I'm not girly in any way but I'm just not a typical girl.
A friend of mine - raised by only her mother since her 4th year of age if I remember right. We were best friends when we were kids but couldn't have been more different. Good example for that was when we were celebrating carneval in kindergarten: She was a pink princess, I was Batman.
While she loved to play with dolls at home & went horse-riding I spent my afternoons with my cats/toy cars/skateboarding and other things to get dirtier than the boys.
Means I was tougher than her and she was more emotional.

Just as a reminder: I like gays. I said I don't want to say in general it's a bad/good influence.

I just want to show that there is an influence because there are differences. And nobody can deny that.
It's an individual thing to say if it's good or bad.
A child is better preserved in a gay family than in a children's home or a family who doesn't love it. That's no thing we need to argue about. But nevertheless imho gay couples should be aware that there is a difference when they raise a child. For the sake of the child. Not because I want to say they're gay and can't raise a child.

But one really good thing to mention is definitely that a gay couple would never cast their child out for being gay.
Maybe for being straight? Never heard of that.

At the end I would also like to add that I do want gays to have their own family and they should have the right to do so. I don't know why America has such a big problem with that. Since 2005 everyone here in Germany is allowed to adopt a child, no matter if gay or not. Even if you are a single person. Sometimes I believe in America the church has more to say than the country or rather state. What is just so wrong to me and shows another problem with religion, but that's a different topic.

I hope nobody feels offended. If so, I'm sorry.

Much love


Edit:
I had an additional thought today: Oedipus complex.
I know what you now think: Freud is so yesterday.
Yes he is. It's not all about sex, I know.
But the Oedipus complex as a thesis has not been discounted. Just modified.

So what happens to the phallic phase of a child who is raised by a homosexual couple? It can't be that it will be experienced the same, because we only have one sex as parents. Is it automatically conquered because a child doesn't have to make a decision? What influence will that have on the following phases/development? Will that cause a higher chance for the child to become also homosexual?
Questions, questions, questions.